Meetings

WHAT HAPPENS AT SCA MEETINGS

Meetings are one of the most important ingredients of recovery from sexual compulsion. They give us the strength to stop having compulsive sex one day at a time and to reshape our lives in realistic ways. The support of fellow members helps us to stop “acting out” and start sorting out our confusion about sex. As meetings heal us, we also begin to see how sexual compulsion affects other areas of our lives.

Meeting Format

Our meetings follow a format developed by Alcoholics Anonymous in which we are healed by sharing our common problem. We welcome anyone who has a desire to stop having compulsive sex. After a reading of our Statement of Purpose by the elected chairman of the group and a “round table” reading from our literature, a member speaks for 15 or 20 minutes. The talk is what we call a “qualification.” It discloses in a general way a personal history of sexual compulsion, how the speaker came to SCA and how the speaker is working on his or her recovery.

The speaker or leader of the meeting may also introduce a topic: one of the Twelve Steps, the Tools of Recovery, the Characteristics We Have in Common or some other subject related to recovery. When the speaker is finished, the meeting is open for discussion during which a voluntary collection is taken for rent and literature.

Everyone is welcome to “share” in the discussion, but no one is required to do so. Listening, we identify with others and start to see our behavior more clearly. We realize that we are not alone in our pain and confusion. As we start sharing, we experience the benefits of being open about our sexuality and by being honest we help others. It is a responsibility of all SCA members to respect the anonymity and confidentiality of every person we meet and everything we hear at meetings. We end with a short prayer.

A Process of Progress

SCA meetings are an ongoing process where we develop a new sense of identity, feelings of belonging, more understanding of our problem and the hope of recovery. But meetings can also make us uncomfortable. We discover some painful facts about ourselves. We learn how alienated our secrets have made us. We often don’t want to admit that sexual compulsion has permeated our work life, emotional development, social relationships and spiritual endeavors. As we attend more meetings, the example of others helps us to start accepting our sexuality and looking for ways to express it appropriately. We build new lives based on reality rather than on fantasies and we learn to rely on SCA for sexual sobriety whether in a relationship or not.

Frequency and Fellowship

Many find that frequent attendance at meetings is the single most important factor in breaking compulsive sexual habits and members who have trouble staying on a sexual recovery plan find that increasing attendance helps. When we consider how much time most of us spent pursuing compulsive sex, it’s not unreasonable to devote some time every day to pursuing recovery.

Frequent meetings also help us make new friends. In the fellowship of meetings, we come to know each other by sharing our laughter and our tears, and learn to relate to people in new and healthy ways. We often continue the fellowship by going out for coffee afterwards.

Meetings and the fellowship that grows in them lead us to use the other tools of our program such as getting a sponsor, developing a sexual recovery plan, using the telephone, prayer and meditation, and working the Twelve Steps.

SCA is a spiritual fellowship which welcomes people of all beliefs and lifestyles. Many of us stop acting out right away. Others find that by attending meetings they are gradually able to arrest the compulsion — one day at a time.

We keep coming back because we believe that there is a power greater than sexual compulsion at meetings a power that gives us sanity, serenity and sexual sobriety.

(Extract from “SCA – A Program of Recovery” © SCA-ISO)