Sexual Recovery Plan – Definition, Questions & Answers

“A Sexual Recovery Plan is a predetermined way of expressing our sexuality consistent with our values, so that even when confused, we will have a written guideline to help us.” — The Tools That Help Us Get Better

Q & A Guide on SRP

What is a sexual recovery plan, and do I have to stick to a list of SCA “rules” in making one up?

A sexual recovery plan is a personal listing of sexually-related behaviors that we believe to be unhealthy, self-destructive, dangerous, obsessive, degrading or simply unwise. This list may include things that fuel our addiction or that ‘trigger’ us and make us want to act out our compulsion. It is a list of our bottom-line compulsive behaviors from which we wish to abstain on a one-day-at-a-time basis. These are the things we are ready and willing to give up and which we attempt to turn over to our Higher Power. The list is balanced, on the other side, by those things we want to reward ourselves with and add to our lives in recovery. These rewards are a very important aspect of the plan. They may consist of personal, professional and spiritual goals that we sacrificed through ‘acting out’ our compulsive patterns. They may be as specific or as general as you desire. Many members, especially newcomers, find this side of the recovery plan especially difficult because they are accustomed to thinking of themselves as unworthy and undeserving of rewards, but the rewards should not be neglected. They are the things that make staying in recovery worthwhile.

If SCA members determine their own definition of sobriety, and what their boundaries are, couldn’t that end up being a copout?

Yes, it could. But we’ve found that usually it doesn’t. Each of us, as addicts and compulsives, have behaviors which we can no longer practice and still remain healthy and responsible. These vary considerably from member to member. There may be, and usually are, other behaviors which we would like to be free from eventually, but which we allow ourselves for now, since they aren’t so damaging to us and may act as a safety valve, while we work on our more serious problems. What is dangerous for one person could very well be harmless for others. If we allow ourselves behaviors which should really be bottom-line, we’ll realize that for ourselves soon enough. Rigorous honesty is an integral part of the program. Through sharing honestly with other addicts, we learn to recognize if what we are doing is a copout or not.

(Questions 9 & 30, “Q & A – Questions and Answers: A Guide for Newcomers to Sexual Compulsives Anonymous” © 1993 SCA International Service Organization)